I gave my wife a call to check-in and let her know that I was on my way home from the office the other day. We were chatting as I walked across the parking lot when it dawned on me that something was wrong. You know, that vague feeling you get when something isn’t quite right… something is missing. In a flash, I scanned myself and my immediate surroundings and realized that my front pocket was lighter than it should have been… that the i-phone that usually rests in this pocket was not there. And, because I rarely leave my phone behind or misplace it, I knew that someone else must have taken it from my office or used it and misplaced it.
Thinking out loud with my wife, I reflected on all of those persons who had come through my office that day. And, because she had been in my office earlier… and because she often uses my iPhone to check the weather or get on-line… and because she doesn’t always put my things back where she finds them… she quickly moved to the top of my list of suspects.
Without hesitating, I turned my questioning toward her. And, when she remained silent and didn’t respond – offering no confession of guilt, no defense of her innocence, I thought it odd. Until, in that rather awkward moment, I realized what she already knew… that my iPhone wasn’t missing… that it hadn’t been stolen, lost or misplaced… that it was not in my pocket because it was in my hand… being used to speak to her… the woman I was suspecting of wrong-doing.
And, so, if you want to improve your marriage; if something seems wrong or missing; if you find yourself thinking about what your spouse does and doesn’t bring to the table; if you find yourself saying that things would be better if only he would…. If only she was… Stop it. The phone is in your hand. Really. Trust me. It's there. And if you haven’t found it there, it’s because you’re not looking hard enough.
I gave my wife a call to check-in and let her know that I was on my way home from the office the other day. We were chatting as I walked across the parking lot when it dawned on me that something was wrong. You know, that vague feeling you get when something isn’t quite right… something is missing.