Infertility is hard. It is really hard. It can take a hold of every part of your being and your life. It can end your marriage. Often the issues that are already present in a marriage become bigger and more noticed when one or both of the partners are struggling with the unfulfilled desire to have a child. Partners are stretched to the limit in what they can give to support each other as they are working to address their own feelings of anxiety, sadness, and often times, anger. Both spouses can feel alone and abandoned by everyone. It may be one of the hardest times in a marriage. It can also be a time of growth and closeness that is unsurpassed.
It takes a lot to work through the issues that present themselves when a couple finds themselves embroiled in the diagnosis and treatment for infertility. The many options alone can create discussions you may have never dreamed you would have. How do you deal with infertility? The options range from doing nothing all the way to adoption. What does God want you to do? What do you believe is the right thing to do? Does your spouse agree? Then there are the spiritual issuesssues of abandonment by God, guilt for feeling angry at every pregnant woman you see, and depression and anxiety that resurface after years of feeling as though you or your spouse conquered those issues!
When you and your spouse begin the journey to conquer your infertility it is imperative that you also resolve to protect your hearts and your marriage. Marriage counseling can be a valuable resource in this regard. A well-trained counselor can provide you a safe and consistent place to discuss the feelings that accompany this very stressful time. Counseling can also provide an opportunity for each partner to support the other while feeling like they are not on an island alone. Marriage counseling can also allow you and your spouse to focus on the task at hand, becoming parents, without ripping your marriage apart. When you are trying to become pregnant, you take care of your physical well-being so that you and your new baby can have a healthy start to your new life together. In the same way, you need to care for your emotional and relational well-being so that you and your new baby can have a healthy home and family. You must fight for yourself and your marriage during this time, as God works in you to bring you and your spouse closer and prepares you to enjoy the life that will fill your home.