Everything listed under: Epic Love

  • Personally Responsible vs. Blaming

    Epic Love Setting:  The Six Elements That Determine the Tone of Your Love Story Element #6:  Personally Responsible versus Blaming. I gave my wife a call to check-in and let her know that I was on my way home from the office the other day.  We were chatting as I walked across the parking lot when it dawned on me that something was wrong.

  • Commitment vs. Conditionality

    Epic Love Setting:  The Six Elements That Determine the Tone of Your Love Story Element #5:  Commitment versus Conditionality. Most people understand the importance of unconditional love in a marriage and few people marry with much consideration to the possibility of divorce.  Certainly, most believers recognize that marriage is meant to last a lifetime and that, even in the face of betrayal and infidelity, God’s ideal is a relationship that reflects His gracious, sacrificial and ...

  • Stonewalling vs. Empathy

    When defensiveness fails to protect from recurrent confrontations of contempt and criticism, stonewalling is the next layer of self-protection that finds its way into a marriage relationship.  Stonewalling is, in short, emotional disengagement...

  • Defensiveness vs. Validation

    Epic Love Setting:  The Six Elements That Determine the Tone of Your Love Story   Element #3:  Defensiveness vs Validation Defensiveness is the counterpart to criticism and contempt in a marriage.  This self-protective strategy manifests as an effort to explain, rationalize or minimize the significance of your behavior in the eyes of your spouse.  Defensiveness is any reaction to your spouse that disrupts their expression and/or constrains the process of you coming ...

  • Contemptuous vs. Vulnerable

    Epic Love Setting:  The Six Elements That Determine the Tone of Your Love Story   Element #2:  Contemptuous vs. Vulnerable Jim felt backed into a corner.  Seven years into the marriage, it didn’t seem to matter how hard he tried to please Esther, she kept upping the ante.  Desperate to get her attention, he tried to tell her that a new car was not in the budget.  Esther seemed unaffected – even bored – by Jim’s plea.  Looking away from him, she used the pa...

  • Criticism vs. Disagreement

    In the same way that the setting for a movie puts limitations on – or creates the potential for - a certain set of outcomes in a story, the setting or tone of a marriage creates the potential for longevity and joy or frustration and divorce...